Oww, my wisdom tooth are hurting really bad and they're a lil' shaky. I heard from an unreliable source that I will have to pluck em' out?
Shite~
I hate having my tooth plucked out. Damn it'll hurt, and how the fuck will i be able to chew my food without my wisdom tooth?
Okay, the end of 2006 is near. This must've been the worst year ever. I have felt part of the pain of growing up and broken relationships.
PART!~ I wonder how bad will it get?
There is a girl that I've always had feelings for. She has just out of a bad relationship and have been hurt badly, emotionally. She's been in and out of the country and I never had a chance to meet her. I don't want to rush the relationship cause I want to get to know her in person.
I was supposed to meet her today, but she didn't turn up. She over slept. Shes leaving the country again tomorrow and won't be back in another month or so. If not, it'll be 3 painful and lonely months by myself before she comes back.
Its her choice.
What if she choose to come back 3 months later? Will I go crazy? My close friends and I have noticed a change in me. I'm not the guy that I used to be. Something has changed. I'm not as lively or interesting as the past. I used to have alot of things to talk about. Now, I won't feel like talking at all and walk in silence. Small things makes my day feel shitty. Seeing a couple being together makes me all jealous and sad inside. I just feel like avoiding places happy couples might be. I need someone by my side. I can't stand being along. All the other girls I've been with, they weren't the ones for me. All those that I think MIGHT work out, avoids me.
How sucky is that?
I maybe surrounded by alot of people but I still feel alone. I know that you guys are keeping me from thinking about relationships but sometimes when I lie on my bed, or walk a quiet road home. I'll start thinking about things.
Its inevitable~
Anyway, I planned to accompany her to the airport to send her off. Maybe we'll hang around in the afternoon or catch a movie before sending her to the airport at midnight.
But, I heard that she changed the flight time to 10.30 in the morning. I don't know what shes doing, is she trying to avoid me? It'll be much easier if she just told me straight rather than giving me false hopes.
Why can't I just live life as it is? Why must relationships be so crucial in my life? My friends who are single says they enjoy it. Personally I hate the single life. Sure, you have all the space to yourself. You can go around hitting on girls, fuck around with hot girls with no strings attached. Sure thats sounds like fun but thats not the life thats for me.
I will want my space when I'm with my friends but thats all I'm asking for. I want someone who I can hold and be close to. I have almost forgot the feeling of being loved. When ever I try to recall it all I can remember is loving and not being loved.
Could this be Karma?
Whatever it is I want it to stop.
Lemme be happy again.
Lemme see a couple holding hands without me whining that I want to be in the guys shoes.
Lemme see a hot girl walking past me without giving me the urge to get her number.
Lemme have the confidence to look at a hot girl and say, my baby is better.
I doubt that the girl would be reading this. But if she is, please come back soon baby.
